“Thank you. I wanted the girls to celebrate with you. Forty years is something.”
Kenneth smiled at Celeste.
“Forty years, and she still laughs at my jokes.”
Celeste shook her head.
“I don’t. I just make the noise.”
A few minutes later, Elliot and Jane showed up.
Jane looked exactly as I’d expected.
Tall.
Fit.
Black bikini.
Dark ponytail.
But when she saw me, her smile was warm.
“Mona! Look at the girls! They’ve gotten huge.”
“They eat like tiny sharks.”
She laughed.
Then her eyes went to my swimsuit.
“I love that suit.”
I glanced down.
“It’s doing a lot of work.”
Jane frowned.
“It’s a swimsuit. Its job is swimming. That’s all it needs to do.”
I laughed.
And for the first time all morning, I quit tugging at the fabric around my hips.
Then Celeste revealed another surprise.
She had hired a photographer named Sam for the whole day.
Candid photographs.
Pictures of everyone having fun.
And one proper family portrait before we left.
I loved the idea.
I wanted pictures of the twins splashing with their grandparents.
I wanted memories.
I looked over at Daniel.
His expression stiffened.
He glanced at the photographer.
Then at me.
Then at Jane.
He said nothing.
The morning was wonderful.
We took the babies to the shallow pool.
Paige hated it.
Piper adored it.
Kenneth crawled through the water after her around a whale-shaped fountain while she laughed so hard she got hiccups.
Sam photographed all of it.
For almost an hour, I sat at the pool’s edge in my swimsuit.
And not once did I think about my stomach.
Later, Jane sat down beside me.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Were you a competitive swimmer?”
I looked at her.
“How did you know?”
“Your shoulders. Swimmers have a certain posture. And you walked into the water like you belonged there.”
She smiled.
“I swam in high school. I was terrible.”
“Two-hundred fly. College.”
Her eyes went wide.
“Butterfly? That event is awful.”
“It really is.”
“You’re a monster.”
She said it like a compliment.
I laughed.
Then Jane grew quieter.
“My mom had twins.”
I looked at her.
“My little brothers. She really struggled afterward. With her body. My dad used to make comments about her weight. Little jokes.”
She gazed at the water.
“I think that’s part of why I became a trainer. I wanted women to feel strong. Not skinny. Strong. There’s a difference.”
I didn’t know what to say.
Then she looked straight at me.
“Your body did something incredibly hard, Mona. Two babies at once. Nobody should be telling you anything except good job.”
I swallowed.
“Thank you, Jane.”
“I mean it.”
“I know.”
Later, Paige and Piper sat with me under one of the blue umbrellas.
Daniel stood by the pool taking pictures on his phone.
Of Elliot and Jane.
Jane climbed onto Elliot’s back.
They laughed.
Daniel took one picture.
Then another.
Then another.
“Daniel?”
He looked back.
“Yeah?”
“Can you take one of me with the girls? They’re being really cute.”
“Later.”
“Why?”
He walked over and looked me up and down.
At my swimsuit.
At my arms.
“Because you’ll make me take twelve and then hate every one.”
“I won’t.”
“You always do.”
“I just want one picture with my daughters.”
He leaned in closer.
“You’re going to complain about how you look. Honestly, I don’t think they’ll turn out how you want.”
“Then don’t look at it.”
“I’ll still know it exists.”
He turned and went back to Elliot and Jane.
Something inside me went completely quiet.
Not angry.
Not sad.
Just still.
Like being underwater.
An hour later, we were all having lunch at the café.
Paige crushed a strawberry.
Piper stole my sunglasses.
I laughed as I tried to get them back.
Across the café, Sam raised his camera.
Click.
I didn’t notice.
Then Daniel came over with a white towel.
He dropped it beside my plate.
“Cover yourself.”
And that was where everything finally broke open.
“Why?”
“Mona. Just do it.”
“I’m eating. I’m feeding our daughters.”
“Put it around you. Cover your hips, for God’s sake.”
His eyes went toward Jane.
I followed his gaze.
Then looked back at him.
“Are you embarrassed by me?”
His jaw tightened.
“Don’t do this here.”
“You came over here.”
“Mona.”
“Say it.”
His voice rose just enough for everyone nearby to hear.
“You just don’t look attractive in that swimsuit, okay? Especially sitting next to Jane.”
Jane froze.
Elliot shoved his chair back.
“What the hell, Daniel?”
Jane turned fully toward him.
“Did you actually just say that about your wife? And why are you using me?”
“Stay out of it.”
“You brought me into it. I was literally eating a salad.”
Daniel glanced around at everyone watching.
“I’m just being honest. Somebody has to be honest.”
I picked up the towel.
For a second, Daniel relaxed.
He thought I was about to wrap it around myself.
The way I always did.
The way I had changed dresses.
The way I had deleted that photograph.
Instead, I folded the towel neatly.
Once.
Then again.
And set it on the empty chair.
“No.”
He blinked.
“What?”
“I’m not covering myself because you decided another woman looks better than I do.”
“Mona—”
“No, Daniel.”
Jane leaned forward.
“Mona, I swear I never asked him to compare us. I barely even know him.”
“I know. You didn’t do anything. He just thinks he’s allowed to use you that way.”
Daniel threw up one hand.
“Can everybody stop acting like this is some massive betrayal? It’s a swimsuit.”
Then Kenneth spoke.
“Daniel.”
Only his name.
But Daniel went still at once.
Kenneth turned to the photographer.
“Sam, could you show us that picture you just took? The one of Mona and the twins?”
Sam hesitated.
“Sure.”
He took out a tablet and opened the photograph.
My stomach clenched.
I didn’t want everyone looking at a photograph of me in a swimsuit.
Kenneth turned the screen toward us.
There I was.
Dark blue swimsuit.
Blue umbrella.
Piper holding my sunglasses high above her head.
Paige reaching for me with strawberry-covered hands.
And me.
Head tilted back.
Laughing.
Really laughing.
My hair was messy.
I looked exhausted.
But those weren’t the first things I noticed.
I looked happy.
Kenneth smiled.
“That’s the one.”
Daniel groaned.
“Dad.”
“That’s the one I want printed big for the living room.”
Daniel stared at him.
“You know what I mean.”
Kenneth looked down at the screen.
“I see Mona laughing with my granddaughters.”
Then he looked at me.
“She’s beautiful.”
Celeste moved behind my chair and rested her hand on my shoulder.
She didn’t say anything.
She didn’t need to.
Sam accidentally swiped to the next photograph.
“Oh.”
Everyone looked.
The second photograph had been taken only seconds later.
Daniel had stepped into the frame.
He stood over me holding the towel.
I sat in the same chair.
Same swimsuit.
Same body.
Same babies.
But my smile was gone.
My shoulders curled forward.
My arms had drawn in toward my stomach.
My head hung low.
I looked like I was trying to disappear.
Two photographs.
Maybe ten seconds apart.
Same woman.
Same body.
Completely different person.
Jane stared at the screen.
Then at Daniel.
Daniel reached for the tablet.
“Delete that.”
I stood.
“No.”
“Mona.”
I gently took the tablet from Kenneth.
“I said no.”
“Why would you want that picture? You look terrible.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Then delete it.”For illustration purposes only
I stared at the two photographs.
“But I needed to see it.”
Daniel laughed in frustration.
“See what?”
I went back to the first picture.
“A few months ago, I would have looked at this and seen Paige with strawberries. Piper stealing my sunglasses. I would have seen my daughters.”
I looked at him.
“Now the first thing I notice is my stomach. My face. My arms. My hips. Because that’s what you taught me to look at first.”
“Mona—”
“Too big. Too puffy. Wrong dress. That shirt isn’t helping. When are you going back to the gym? Cover yourself.”
His face flushed red.
“I never said all of that.”
“Don’t lie.”
He stopped.
“Please don’t make me stand here in front of your parents on their anniversary and list every sentence you’ve said just so you can argue over wording.”
For once, Daniel had nothing to say.
I turned to Jane.
“I’m sorry he keeps using you to hurt me.”
Her eyes widened.
“You don’t owe me an apology.”
“You didn’t ask to be compared to me. You didn’t ask to become the stick he hits me with.”
Jane looked at Daniel.
“She’s right.”
Elliot rested a hand on Jane’s back.
Daniel threw up both hands.
“This is unbelievable. It’s a water park. It’s a swimsuit.”
Sam cleared his throat awkwardly.
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